Hella Lit

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
teaandstargazing
cassie-isms

this is a confession to the star wars fandom because I have to get this off my chest. last summer just for fun I taught myself to read aurebesh and. you fanartists have Got to Continue putting the most Hilarious stuff into the background of your art because it is literally my favorite thing

here’s a couple of excellent things I’ve read since I started keeping a list just last month:

- “I hate drawing lightsabers”

- “Idk what to put here”

- “stupid fucking sign”

- “eat paste, it’s good”

- an entire news article on a phone screen which I actually found really impressive

- a few funny misspellings but the best one so far was ahsoka somehow becoming “asock”

- wanted poster of obi wan that read “wanted for fashion crimes”. the caption translated it as “wanted for high treason”. like blatantly lying to my face. love it.

- door on a ship was labeled “cake storage”

- “shopping list: frogs, hair gel, lightsaber polish”

and my personal favorite:

- “if you’re reading this you’re a fucking nerd”

teaandstargazing
huffylemon

image
ralfmaximus

Years ago I overheard (eavesdropped upon) a telephone conversation between a public parks official and a golf course owner.

Parks Official: No sir, you cannot

Parks Official: No. They are a protected species

Parks Official: You CANNOT shoot them

Parks Official: Or poison them, no. Or trap them

Parks Official: If you like, we can-- no, I'm it. I'm the ranking official here. There's nobody above me. My boss? You mean... the governor's office? Sure, I guess. Okay bye

After he hung up, he gave me this thousand-yard stare before answering my unvoiced question.

"There's a flock of flamingos at the 9th green disrupting golfers. He wanted permission to go out there with a shotgun and take care of matters, but sensed there might be... legal ramifications. So he called us."

I laughed. "Does that happen often?"

"Oh, we get calls like that a couple times a month."

fem-fatalist

Country clubs should be burned to the ground and their golf courses turned into community gardens i am 10000% serious

theconcealedweapon

Was golf created for the sole purpose of hoarding ridiculously large amounts of land just to brag about how little they use it?

blackwoolncrown

Yes, literally.

protectcosette
pissvortex

twitter is going to be shut down. half of reddit is locked or completely unmoderated. the entire first page of google search results are ads. tumblr does not and will never have a functioning search system and their content moderation is 100% automated. youtube only shares ad revenue with people who make snuff films for Youtube Kids. facebook is selling your grandma’s social security number under the table for like $5. web 2.0 is completely dead right